The Real Reason Couples Stop Feeling Connected in 2026
The Real Reason Couples Stop Feeling Connected in 2026
CONNECT WITH CHARLENE On Instagram @mscharlenebyars (https://www.instagram.com/mscharlenebyars/?hl=en)
On YouTube @chosentraining (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAEFkimtIowqoyz1_lnF8Rg)
Work with me HERE (https://charlenebyars.com/)
CONNECT WITH JONATHAN On IG: https://www.instagram.com/jonathanvanviegen
Book a call with him: https://shorturl.at/4kt3W
0:00 - Introduction: Meet Jonathan Van Vegan
1:30 - "I Was Kidnapped at 9" – Jonathan's Traumatic Childhood
4:15 - How He Knew She Was "The One" After Two Dates
6:45 - The Fight That Almost Ended His Marriage
9:30 - Why Trauma Shows Up as Anger in Men
13:00 - Why He Explodes When You Ask Him to Take Out the Trash
18:30 - "Prop Up His Ego" – The Advice That Triggers Women
24:00 - Pain Saturation: Why Couples Stop Feeling Chosen
29:15 - Do Men and Women Fall in Love Differently?
33:45 - Women Want to Be Chosen, Men Want to Be Liked
38:30 - Why Society Trying to "Blend" Us Is a Problem
43:00 - For Women Who Feel They Missed Their Chance at Love
47:30 - Why Love Languages & Attachment Styles Can Hurt Your Marriage
51:00 - The Restaurant Test: Do You Know What She'd Order?
54:30 - What Men Are Too Afraid to Admit They Want
57:15 - The Hallmark of a Healthy Relationship
59:00 - Where to Find Jonathan + Upcoming Book Stop looking through the "Lens of Pain."
In this deep-dive interview, renowned psychotherapist and relationship coach Jonathan Van Viégas (creator of the Chosen and Cherished Method) reveals why even "wonderful" relationships can start to feel like a burden.
We explore the concept of Pain Saturation, the moment life’s external stressors (work, health, trauma) bleed into your partnership, causing you to view your spouse as the enemy rather than your teammate.
Jonathan shares his own vulnerable journey from a traumatic childhood and struggles with anger to building a thriving, emotionally safe marriage.
In this video, you will learn: The "Pain Saturation" Effect: Why couples attribute all their life's pain to their partner. Gendered Needs: Why women crave being "chosen" and why men desperately need to be "cherished" and liked.
The Ego Reframing: How propping up a partner's ego (without becoming their caretaker) creates a bridge to healing. Trauma & Anger: Understanding why men often manifest stress as anger and how to navigate those "identity-level" wounds.
The 2026 Perspective: How to honor the fundamental differences between men and women in a modern, fast-paced world.
Whether you are struggling to communicate or simply want to deepen your intimacy, this conversation provides practical tools to move from "surviving" to "thriving."
