Episode 95

full
Published on:

20th May 2026

How to Stop Choosing the Wrong Partner | FT: Julia Cordova

How to Stop Choosing the Wrong Partner | FT: Julia Cordova

CONNECT WITH CHARLENE

On Instagram @mscharlenebyars (https://www.instagram.com/mscharlenebyars/?hl=en)

On YouTube @chosentraining (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAEFkimtIowqoyz1_lnF8Rg)

Work with me HERE (https://charlenebyars.com/)

CONNECT WITH JULIA

On Instagarm @ask_julia_ (https://www.instagram.com/ask_julia_?igsh=MWprNDJwbG5zaTg4dA==)

For Collaboration Contact Her: Seb@influencernexus.com

Why do we keep falling for the same "wrong" guy, even when our gut warns us?

In this episode, dating and mindset expert Julia Cordova (Ask Julia) shares her revolutionary framework for navigating the modern dating jungle: Dating like a recruiter.

Julia opens up about leaving a long-term, unfulfilling relationship, conquering her own anxious attachment style, and utilizing her professional recruiting background—where she interviewed over 10,000 candidates, to completely rewire her approach to love. We break down the hidden cycles of cognitive dissonance, why women give away too many brownie points to men who are "wishy-washy," and how to step into your ultimate value so you naturally attract the commitment you deserve.

We cover in this Episode:

0:00 — Intro & teaser clips

1:30 — Host reads Julia's bio

3:00 — How Julia got into dating coaching

5:00 — Julia's background: first novel, fascination with boys

6:00 — Leaving her 13-year relationship, entering the dating world

8:00 — The recruiting mindset applied to dating

11:00 — Julia's relationship history & anxious attachment

14:00 — Dating as healing: what relationships reveal about you

18:00 — Self-awareness vs. actually doing the work

22:00 — Common patterns: dating the wrong guy

26:00 — Why men who like you are crystal clear

29:00 — Why dating multiple people at once matters

33:00 — The recruiter/numbers game analogy

37:00 — Dating with intention: how to communicate it honestly

41:00 — Physical intimacy & attachment hormones

44:00 — Do women find healthy relationships boring?

48:00 — How Julia met her fiancé

54:00 — Her 3 date questions

56:00 — What women unintentionally abandon: ignoring gut instincts

1:01:00 — Trusting your gut vs. trauma bonding confusion

1:05:00 — Attracting the same men: reverse engineer your selection

1:10:00 — #1 shift: just date, date, date

1:14:00 — How Julia's fiancé responded to her dating others

1:17:00 — Hard truth: look internally

1:20:00 — Coffee dates vs. longer first dates

1:25:00 — Safety tips & date time strategy

1:29:00 — What goes viral: pre-selection & jealousy

1:33:00 — You are the prize

1:35:00 — How to work with Julia / closing words

If you are tired of wasting months on situationships and are ready to date with absolute intention, this episode is your blueprint.

Listen for free

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About the Podcast

Love Stories
Love Stories highlights the relationship journeys of successful, modern-day women and the trials they’ve overcome in pursuit of finding their aligned partner. Through actionable tips, constructive advice and my deeply passionate pep talks, you will leave feeling confident and empowered to choose the right man, communicate intimately, and connect to your full feminine power.

It’s time to release your old patterns and embrace a new shift into Chapter One of your love story. Hosted by Charlene Byars, a certified empowerment coach and relationship expert.

Follow Charlene @mscharlenebyars.

About your host

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Charlene Byars

I'm Charlene, a dating and relationship expert. I'm also a Certified Empowerment Coach and Women’s Revolutionary Mentor. It’s my job to hold space for you while you move through the spaces of empowerment. Whether it’s old patterns that you want to be free of, or old beliefs that need to be let go of, I am here assist you in finding your true joy. Because there is no reason for you to live any other way than how you truly want your life to be.